


we're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time (it's miserable and magical)

by srididdledeedee



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, darwin is alive bc i say so, part of the kltrgcu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/srididdledeedee/pseuds/srididdledeedee
Summary: Pietro is over the moon to bring his boyfriend back to the X-Mansion.  Kyle, on the other hand, fully believes he will die at the ripe old age of twenty-two.





	we're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time (it's miserable and magical)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [you were romeo, i was a scarlet letter (and my daddy said, "stay away from juliet")](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17076287) by [sapphea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphea/pseuds/sapphea). 



“I don’t know why you’re freaking out. My dad loves you!” Pietro insists. Kyle is focusing on the path they’re walking to the X-Mansion. It’s a beautiful morning, with the sun shining bright on the grounds. Kyle is more than well aware that this could be the last time he takes the quaint brick path to Pietro’s old home.

“Which one? Magneto, who I’m pretty sure will still kill me when your back is turned, or the one who can read minds and heard me trying not to pee my pants in front of Magneto the last time I was here?” Kyle asks hollowly, and Pietro frowns.

“Baldie’s not my dad. He and my dad have their weird thing, but my dad’s dad-ness didn’t transfer over to him just because they’re…” Pietro trails off, waving his hand ambiguously.

“Married?” Kyle suggests, and Pietro makes a face. “Ignoring that, your dad – Magneto – doesn’t love me. He barely tolerates me. The last time I was here, you said it was a success that he didn’t kill me.”

Pietro nods thoughtfully. “This is all true.”

“What’s stopping him from killing me this weekend?” Kyle continues. “I’m gonna, like, fart and then I’m gonna be impaled with a fork.”

“My dad’s not going to kill you for farting,” Pietro says, laughing. “‘Sides, you can outrun him. Probably.”

“Amazing vote of confidence, babe.”

“I can outrun him, one hundred percent. Does that make you feel better?”

“I’d feel better if I didn’t have to think about my boyfriend whisking me out of the way of his homicidal dad,” Kyle says.

“Look, it’s going to be a fun weekend! You’re going to meet all my mentors and friends, my dad’s not going to kill you, and we’re going to have a great time.” Pietro grins, and slings his arm around Kyle’s shoulder. “Nothing’s going to go wrong.”

* * *

 Things go wrong almost immediately, to no one’s surprise but Pietro’s. Magneto descends from the sky like a vengeful god, Kyle almost pisses his pants as per tradition, and Pietro zooms him to a safe room in the mansion before dashing back to argue with his father.

“Wonderful,” Kyle mutters, then jolts when a voice says, “You can say that again.”

Kyle whirls around to see a tall, older black man he had been briefly introduced to the last time he had visited the grounds. “Oh my god, Mr. Darwin, I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to intrude –”

Darwin waves his hand dismissively. “No, don’t worry. You weren’t the one who put yourself here, unless you developed a mutation since the last time I saw you.”

“Uh. No,” Kyle says as Magneto’s voice thunders, _“You brought the human back?!”_ from below. Darwin snorts.

“Erik won’t bother you here. Don’t look so nervous,” he says, then turns back to what he’s working on.

Though Kyle constantly hears Pietro refer to Magneto as _“my dad,”_ it is somehow even more disconcerting to hear him referred to by his name. It’s…humanizing. Mutant-nizing? It’s weird, is what it is.

“What’s stopping – uh – Mr. Magneto from storming in here and, like…” Kyle trails off into explosion noises and mimes cutting his own throat.

“Me,” Darwin says simply.

“Mr. Darwin, I appreciate your general invincibility, but how are you –?” Kyle begins, and Darwin holds up a hand to stop him.

“My mutation’s got nothing to do with it,” he says. “Erik and Charles, especially Erik, just don’t like coming in here. They’re embarrassed.”

Kyle tries to imagine Magneto embarrassed. “I don’t follow.”

“Both of them thought I was dead for the better part of six years, I’d say,” Darwin says, and Kyle finally glimpses what he’s working on. It’s a watch, small but beautiful, with a gold rim. “Seems they didn’t realize total invincibility meant _total_ invincibility. When I woke up, I was alone and didn’t know where I was or how to find any of the people who’d left me there.”

“And then you came here?” Kyle asks.

Darwin shakes his head. “Son, when I came to, it was still 1962, and I was still a young black man in America. Invincible or not, I was scared. I didn’t particularly want to seek out the people who’d abandoned me before, so I didn’t.”

Kyle doesn’t know what to say, so instead of staying quiet like a intelligent person might, he says, “I was born in 1959.”

Darwin nods. “You remember much from the early 60s? Any of the Freedom Rides, the marches?”

Kyle shrugs. “Kind of? My parents would talk about it, because, I mean –” He gestures to himself. “Like, obviously it was important to us, but my parents didn’t do much directly. I think they were worried about me.”

“I was there at the March on Washington,” Darwin says. “People knew I was a mutant, too. But they didn’t care, and I wasn’t there because I was a mutant. I was there because I wanted justice, and equality, and respect. Because, Kyle, at the end of the day, people who look at me don’t see a mutant. They see a black man.

“I think Erik’s still scared at that prospect. That people’ll look at him, and they won’t see a mutant. They’ll just see a Jew who, against all odds, hasn’t died yet.” Darwin sighs, and puts his tools down. “I’ve digressed. I moved back to New York City after Dr. King’s assassination, and it was a total accident I found Charles. I got a job and a place to stay here. I didn’t see Erik until he and Charles made up in the 70s.” Darwin smiles. “You should have seen him. He looked like someone’d just poured a glass of water on him.”

Kyle once again tries and fails to imagine Magneto looking anything but furious. “Wow.”

“Anyway, both of them feel bad about thinking I was dead, but neither of them have talked to me about it yet,” Darwin finishes. “And I’m certainly not going to approach _them._ Not my problem.”

“All of that is just so – I don’t know, inconceivable? Hasn’t it’s been, like, ten years? Aren’t you guys real adults?” Kyle asks.

“Supposedly.” Darwin bends down and pulls something from under the desk he was working at, and Kyle has a mini-heart attack as he lays eyes on the ugliest statue he’s ever seen.

“Oh my god,” he says. “What is that – why do you have that – it looks like it wants to eat my head – oh my god – is that supposed to be _Magneto_ – oh my _god.”_

“Us real adults avoid confrontation with our loved ones by hiding their prized possessions in a room they’re unwilling to go into,” Darwin says casually, not visibly bothered by the horrible, terrible, awful Magneto statue. “I suspect Charles put it here one night and it just took me some time to find it while Erik was tearing apart the rest of the mansion.” He holds it out to hand it to Kyle, and Kyle takes it, balking. “Makes a nice peace offering, I think.”

Kyle’s abject horror at holding the statue is suddenly eclipsed with gratitude. “No way – thank you so much, Mr. Darwin. I won’t forget this.”

Darwin claps him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. Oh, and Kyle?” He winks. “Mr. Muñoz is fine.”

* * *

 Kyle walks in on Pietro and Magneto having a full-on shouting match and feels his soul detach from his mortal body. He will never, ever be used to Magneto at top-volume in person.

(He does not think about pissing his pants. He does not think about pissing his pants.)

“Charles is a mutant –!”

“– and bald, and a cop, and a narc! Are we just stating facts, dad?” Pietro yells. “Yeah, baldie’s a mutant and Kyle isn’t, but Kyle is also funny and smart and not as shitty as you want to make him out to be!”

“I want what’s best for you –!” Magneto starts, then notices Kyle, and for a single, terrifying second Kyle thinks he’s a goner. Then Magneto notices the statue Kyle has clutched like a shield, and his eyes widen. “Where did you find that?”

“Darwin’s room?” Kyle says, sweating bullets. Can Magneto smell lies? He doesn’t think so, but he doesn’t want to test the theory.

Magneto opens his mouth, then closes it. He walks over to Kyle _(this is it this is the end Pietro please tell my family I love them)_ and physically lifts the statue out of his hands, cradling it like it means the world to him. Kyle blinks, his entire body tense and ready for Magneto to turn violent, but he simply turns away with the statue and walks back to Pietro.

“Dinner’s at 6:30 tonight. Don’t be late,” he says, then floats up the stairs and disappears. Kyle’s body sags in relief.

“I thought I was going to die,” he says.

Pietro broadly smiles and zooms next to him. “I told you my dad loves you!”

* * *

 Kyle is, miraculously, able to enjoy the rest of his day with his boyfriend. Wanda stops by, and she and Pietro jibe at each other to Pietro’s embarrassment and Kyle’s amusement. He’s fond of Wanda, and gets a kick out of her asinine humor. Pietro complains that “Dad’s still being ridiculous about Kyle,” and Wanda rolls her eyes and responds, “Well, what did you expect?”

Kyle is almost able to forget that not only is his execution imminent, but will be in the form of a family dinner. Unfortunately, sooner rather than later the sun is low in the sky and Pietro is tugging him into the large dining room of the mansion.

“You know, we usually eat in the kitchen,” he says. “Even Dad! I’m not saying this is a big deal, but this is kind of a big deal.”

Kyle faintly smiles. He doubts it.

“I’m sure it is,” he says, grasping Pietro’s hand. “You’re sitting next to me at dinner, right?” _Just in case. Just for insurance._

“Of course, babe,” Pietro says. “And Wanda’ll be there, too. Nothing’s going to happen.”

Kyle braces himself as he’s pulled into the dining room, situating himself squarely behind Pietro. Pietro stops almost as soon as he’s fully in the room.

“Son of a bitch,” Pietro says, incredulous. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Kyle peaks out from behind his boyfriend. Given the amount of shock and disgust in Pietro’s voice, Kyle expects to see Jack Nicholson in all his Shining glory, or a wild man who had wandered into the mansion, or maybe even President Reagan, but only sees Professor X. Pietro splutters.

“I do live here,” Professor X says mildly.

“I came down to eat with my boyfriend, my sister, and my dad!” Pietro protests.

“He’s not going to listen,” Wanda says from within. “I told him you’d be upset.”

“Not in so many words,” Professor X says. “But yes, I was informed.”

“Quiet, cop,” Pietro and Wanda say in unison.

Kyle doesn’t know what to do. He sits down at the table, and tries to not look at Professor X. Please don’t read my thoughts. _Please don’t read my thoughts. God, you really are so bald. Oh, god, I’m sorry._

Professor X chuckles. “It’s quite alright, Kyle.”

“Hey, that’s Mr. Gutierrez to you, baldie!” Pietro protests. “Where’s my dad?”

“He’s coming. Please, sit down,” Professor X says. “Your partner seems quite nervous.”

“I don’t need your permission,” Pietro says, but he does sit down next to Kyle. “Also, stop reading his mind! Be normal!”

“Now, Pietro,” Professor X chides, and then a voice booms, “I hope you’re not using that tone of voice on my son.”

_(I’m safe I’m safe I’m safe Pietro will save me if something happens oh god don’t think about pissing your pants in front of Pietro’s other dad who can read minds oh god)_

Magneto strides into the dining room, shooting daggers from his eyes. Professor X frowns. “No helmets at the table, dear.”

Magneto doesn’t respond. He sits down at the opposing head of the table, glowering at Professor X.

“Dad!” Pietro says brightly, the animosity from earlier seemingly forgotten. “Why the hell is Charles with us?”

“He does live here,” Magneto says, an edge to his voice. Wanda snickers, and Pietro glares at her. “I typically have dinner with him.”

“Thank you, Erik –”

“Though I would not object to eating separately from him tonight,” Magneto finishes angrily.

Kyle is frozen. He can’t handle this. He can’t be around when Magneto, who is Pietro’s _dad,_ is picking a fight with his husband. He refuses.

“Is that so, _dear?”_ Professor X says, tone saccharine. “Whyever not?”

Magneto doesn’t answer, but instead begins to serve himself the food on the table. “If we must eat together, let’s make it as short as possible.”

“Erik,” Professor X says, and now there’s an edge to his voice as well. “Helmet.”

Magneto looks like he’s about to fly into a rage, but he removes the helmet.

Kyle wants to sink under the table.

Pietro clears his throat. “So what have you guys been up to?”

“I’ve begun teaching a class,” Wanda says, jumping to the rescue. “Ororo says I can teach two, or even three more next semester because this semester’s gone so well!”

“That’s awesome!” Pietro says enthusiastically. “Kyle’s working on his Masters degree right now.”

“Is that so?” Professor X asks. “In what?”

Kyle nervously smiles. “Linguistics, actually. I’m already fluent in Spanish and Tagalog, and I’ve been taking Hebrew and I think I’m getting, like, decent at it? I’ve just always been passionate about language.”

Professor X smiles brightly. “A regular polyglot! Erik has a few languages under his belt as well, you know. Don’t you, dearest?”

Kyle suddenly gets the distinct impression that Professor X may hate him. He racks his brain for what he could have done to indict his wrath.

“That’s right,” Magneto rumbles, then says nothing more. An awkward silence falls over the table.

“So, uh, how have you been, dad?” Pietro asks, trying to kickstart the conversation. “How’s Ororo?”

“She’s fine,” Magneto says shortly.

“Your father and I have been having a little spat,” Professor X interrupts. “In case you couldn’t tell.”

Pietro pulls a face that Kyle easily reads as _Oh-God-I-feel-obliged-to-ask-about-this- even-though-that’s-the-last-thing-I-want-in-the-world._  “Yeah, I think we all picked up on that.” He turns back to Magneto. “What’s going on?”

Professor X interjects again. “Your father has recently re-acquired a – I don’t know if I would call it a _statue –”_

“You HID the statue from me!” Magneto explodes, and the underside of the table is looking more and more appealing to Kyle. “I’ve been looking for it for months!”

“I put it where I thought it would be more appreciated –”

“It was in the foyer for a reason!”

“I still think that was a rash decision –”

“I would have never found it if not for the _human –”_ Magneto spits, pointing at Kyle, and yep, he’s sinking down in his seat and getting closer to the sweet embrace of the table cloth, “– who, and I never thought I would say this, but I care for a great deal more than you right now, Charles!” 

Professor X shoots his own glare at Kyle. “Mr. Gutierrez found it by accident, I am sure, and almost assuredly would not have returned it to you if Darwin had not told him to!”

“He wouldn’t have _had_ to accidentally discover it if you had never removed it from its rightful home!”

Kyle is beyond terrified at this point. He watches as the two men, well into their forties, continue to shout at each other. He feels as if he’s watching a soccer match, but the soccer ball is his life.

“Oh my god, can you guys _shut up?”_ Pietro yells. “I just wanted my boyfriend to have a nice dinner with my family – plus baldie, who again, I was _not expecting –”_

“He thinks the statue was ugly!” Professor X bursts out, pointing an accusatory finger at Kyle. “He agrees with me!”

Kyle has a vision of his epitaph. "Killing agent: Magneto. Causal agent: Professor X’s personal agenda.”

Nothing prepares him for what happens next. Magneto stands up, picks up his helmet, walks over to Kyle _(goodbye, Pietro, I love you)_ and puts the helmet on Kyle’s head. It’s not a perfect fit, and it slides over his eyes. Kyle thinks his heart stops.

“When you’ve decided to stop acting like a child, Charles, I’ll be in our room,” Magneto says snippily. “Do _not_ turn young Kyle against me.”

Magneto strides out of the room, and Professor X mutters, “For the love of God.”

Pietro takes Kyle’s hand in his own. “Babe, my dad _loves_ you.”

* * *

 Kyle is eventually liberated from Magneto’s helmet, but not until he’s due to leave. Pietro thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world. Kyle still isn’t sure if he’s dreaming or not.

“What happened between your dad and the professor?” Kyle asks.

“I don’t know. They probably had a psychic argument and then, I don’t know, played chess or something,” Pietro says. “That tends to be their pattern.”

“God, I hope we don’t end up like that,” Kyle says. Pietro kisses his cheek.

“‘Course we won’t.” He makes a face. “And as much as it kills me, they stick together. My dad’s disgustingly loyal.”

Kyle smiles, and looks at the helmet Pietro is holding. “He really does kind of like me, huh.”

“I told you so!”

Kyle laughs and thinks, _You know what, I could get used to this._

**Author's Note:**

> just as the first work of the ktlrgcu, this was written for two people, one of whom is me


End file.
